Hi everyone,
I’ve been in a very bad situation last year, problems coming from everywhere, the last thing I could do was leaving my family behind. And family business as well. Most responsibility is over my shoulders yet, but I can’t complain about it, much on the contrary, I’m glad I’m able to take care of them.
I wish I had a lot of relatives but that’s not the point with me, if I leave now everything here falls apart, there’s nobody else here to take care of business but me. Which were all going downhill thanks to fake ‘friends’, not to say ‘vampires’ who took advantage of my long term depression and my mom’s depression. I thought in the past she was taking care of business but she wasn’t, me neither, so everything was loose. It’s up to me to make things right again, it’s not for the money, it’s for justice.
I’ve been unable to do a proper gifting trip for months, there’s nothing I did worth reporting for more than a year, I guess. Only a few towers here and there. And gifting some losers at local bars giving them cheap TB’s, I felt worse than those drunks and drug addicts at the time, there was a time in 2009 I wanted to get rid of anything that resembled myself and my life history, I wanted to kill myself and start a new life somewhere else. I got rid of some old stuff of mine since I was a child because the other option would be suicide and I didn’t want that. But I ‘killed’ old objects that were history of my life. My purpose was to kill my own history so I didn’t need to kill my body to be free.
‘Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don’t mean nothing honey if it ain’t free, now now.’
I know what I’m telling you has nothing to do about me visiting Africa but it does! I could say f*** my family, I’m free to go everywhere I want, but that’s not the Japanese way I was raised into and it’s not he Italian way. Although some people raised into those cultures are motherf*** who can’t care less about their families. But I care.
I’ll feel free to go anywhere when everybody here is fine. Not yet, unfortunately. I know I’m giving up my freedom, if it was for me only I wouldn’t be still living in Brazil now.
I’m not the ‘little know it all’ who used to post a couple of years ago. I’m still a rebel but I must keep an open mind to learn new things, and I should never let depression take over as I let some years ago. I’m still confused if I should throw away a gift in well kept roads, for instance, or if I should bury them. I guess when the garden keepers come they will get it and send to the trash no matter what I do. Hiding gifts in a huge city is difficult, that’s my main problem gifting in Sao Paulo.
I’m sorry this post is about me, me, me.
Gifting a huge city like Sao Paulo is a big task, I can’t take all responsibility for me alone. Or I could, for the main places, somebody had to start doing it. But I may be unale to finish it during my lifetime. Or not [Image Can Not Be Found]
I’m not complaining about my difficulties, I’m just sharing them with you. I hope you understand.
This place I live is terrible, I thank everybody who collaborated with sponsorships, every cent of them was spent in orgonite. I hope I have my own income soon so I can collaborate too. Don’t let anyone steal you, no matter the level of depression you are. I’ve been there, I used to feel less than trash. Near suicide. I got rid of everything that was dear to me because I didn’t want the life I was living anymore. I regret some things I left behind but it was good, I left the old and the new things are swowing up.
Hello, Hooray. Alice Cooper
Hello! Hooray! Let the show begin
I’ve been ready
Hello! Hooray! Let the lights grow dim
I’ve been ready
Ready as this audience that’s coming here to dream
Loving every second, every moment, every scream
I’ve been waiting so long to sing my song
I’ve been waiting so long for this thing to come
Yeah – I’ve been thinking so long I was the only one
Roll out! Roll out your American dream and its rescuits
I’ve been ready
Roll out! Roll out your circus freaks and hula hoops
I’ve been ready
Ready as this audience that’s coming here to dream
Loving every second, every movement, every scream
I’ve been waiting so long to sing my song
I’ve been waiting so long for this thing to come
Yeah – I’ve been thinking so long I was the only one
I can stand here strong and thin
I can laugh when this thing begins
God, I feel so strong
I feel so strong
I’m so strong
I feel so strong
So strong
God, I feel so strong
I’m so strong
Andrea