Midweek chatblasts

(Don Croft) #1

Carol suggested that we set up a Wednesday chatblast to ensure that hte blasters will remain free of excessive interference from the sewer rats and I agree that it’s a good idea.

So, starting next Wednesday, at 1100GMT, show up in the general chatroom if you’re one of the chatblasters who has been under assault and Carol and I, at least, will be available to help you overcome your assailants then. Three is always enough to take down even the most excalted (sic) predators, especially if one of the three blasters is a skilled psychic.

The posters on EW who aren’t taking down predators as part of a group are also welcome to avail themselves of this service because some of you guys are terrific gifters and are under assault on that account but the most vicious assaults seem to be reserved for the ones who show up in the Sunday chats.

Some of us are pretty encouraged by the seminal victory we all had over the various, coordinated sewer rat agencies in N America, Europe and Africa a couple of weeks ago after they tried their best to erase a half dozen or so of us on those continents, apparently on account of the progress we’ve been making in our weekly predator safaris.

Before they killed our dog, Carol and I shopped around and got a Ken doll in a black suit. I added a black tie and black sunglasses and we were going to have the dog tear it up for a funny, little photo op. After the dog was poisoned and beamed to death I quickly got rid of everything that reminded us of her because those reminders are kind of painful but the Man in Black doll was behind a shelf, so I missed it.

A couple of days ago we figured, ‘What the hell?’ and I decided to use this as a ‘fed repellent’ to discourage the sewer rats from breaking into our home every time we went out on errands. As often as not they leave the front door open when they leave and we were getting irritated, so I’ve fashioned a noose, tied the doll’s wrists together behind him and his feet together and he’s hanging from the eave beside the front door.

I know we can’t stop them from invading our home when we’re out, but why not make them a little more uncomfortable when they’re in here? If I could somehow motorize the cord and connnect it up to a motion detector, ‘MIB-Ken’ could be an action figure, in simulated death throes, when the federal trespassers approach the front door. It would be fun to photograph their facial expressions, then.

There are lots and lots of ways for us to seize the initiative against these murderous traitors and the small ways count, too. We each need to develop our fearsome, personal reputations among the local Homeland Security Abomination, whose number vastly outnumber the cops these days, by the way, at least in the purview of the Amerika Reich.

I hope I just sparked some creative thinking for you.