'Are you a real pilot?

Got these words of wisdom from James in the Land of Oz:

Old Pilot

An old American Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USAF uniform and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him…
She turned to the pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’

He replied, 'Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying planes, Cubs, Aeronca’s, Nieuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?

She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.’

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: “are you a real pilot?”
He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’

LOL…
Check this out:

—o—
Boeing engineer: Don, did you hear about our new Boeing 979 SuperLiner?

Don: Nope…

Boeing engineer: yeah, its got 2 super efficient engines and is Crewed by 1 Pilot and a Dog…

Don: wow, what’s the dog for?

Boeing engineer: to make sure the pilot doesn’t screw around with anything…

Don: wow! So what is the Pilot for, then?

Boeing engineer: Why, to feed the Dog, of course!

"A DUSTOFF crew lands and shuts down in a training area. A crusty veteran infantry Sergeant walks over to them, looks at the Flight Medic and asks, “So tell me soldier, what do you do in this man’s Army?”

The Flight Medic looks at him and says, “Well, I play God”

The Sergeant, a little confused says, “What do you mean you play God?”

The Flight Medic responds, “Well on the battlefield I decides who lives or dies so basically I play God.”

The sergeant still confused, looks at the pilots and says, “Well if this guy plays God, what do you guys do?”

The pilots glance at each other briefly and respond, “We give God a ride”

http://www.dustoff.org/joke/joke.htm