My Friends and Colleagues in our struggle for Liberty, Life, Love, and Joy….
A Lot has been going on in my life over the last 3 months… I believe it is the “Operators”, again, pointing me towards a new, and different, set of goals, and way of life; its painful as hell, though…
My problems are not as important as Lulu’s, or anyone that is actively being attacked by the Scoundrels (though who knows what is happening to me…). Take care of them first…
In any case, I lost my full time job in May. I was, however, able to strike a deal to purchase my High end Development Laptop from my previous employer, such that I had the tools to continue to Consult in Software Development and IT and have been engaged in consulting for them to pay it off ($3800). Thankfully I am now down to about $900 that I owe them, which I should get paid off next week, and then start earning some money to live on… so that’s good news…
However, I am only just now beginning a recovery a deep depression that has plagued me for about 2 months. I am now recovering as I have found a new direction in my life…
For the last 12 years, my goal has been to find, and to become a part, of an early effort Start-up, in the High Tech Industry, where I would be granted a significant equity stake, such that through whatever personal sacrifice was required (utter, unsustainable overwork; insane pressure; and working in an Industry Geared around Corporate Greed, Death, and the Elite’s Slavery System) I could realize a “Liquidity Event”, through a well designed and executed “Exist Strategy”, and “Cash Out” successfully. Miserably, I have crashed and burned, time and again in my endeavor to realize such a goal. Each time I get up from the funeral pyre of the last effort, gather my strength, and do it again…. Over, and Over… It is said that doing the same thing, over and over again, expecting different results is the definition for madness…. I have been insane, for much too long. I had to consider that I am 57 years old and that I can’t work like a man in his 20s, 30s, and 40s and survive another such “run” for the $$$. I can’t do what I have been doing any longer… And, Moreover, I simply can’t continue to work for the kinds of Defense Contractor Companies, Government Organizations, and Agencies, that I have been serving, via my labor, for my last 3 previous employers. I have been working on behalf of an Agenda of Death, Lies, and Enslavement that were killing me as inexorably–spiritually, emotionally, and physically–as they have been killing the victims of their evil, global domination, agenda. If I were to continue in that role, I am certain I would soon die and leave this realm–and leave it poorly–having failed, through a lack of courage, to renounce associating with “evil” and continuing to take their “money”. I would continue to be a HYPOCRITE that posts on Facebook, Fulford’s Blog, EW, and elsewhere–RAILING against the “Machine”–while continuing to take the Machine’s “blood” money… I am unplugging from that miserable “gerbil wheel” as fast, and as completely, as I possibly can…
As the Jackson Browne’s Lyrics to “The Pretender” so eloquently states, I am “trapped between the Longing for love, and the Struggle for the Legal Tender” in my efforts to make enough money to satisfy my aspirations, and to attempt to sustain all of those that I felt responsible for (Separated Wife, her Daughter, Granddaughter), in the manner in which they have been living…
A couple of weeks ago I finally allowed this Ideal of “Cashing Out” to die… I also stopped drinking whiskey every night, as I have been for over a year… Not getting smashed every night… but yet “dosing” myself to “survive” the pain and repressed guilt over what I was doing, who I was working for, and my cowardice to throw everything away and start over…
It is the same sort of Personal Death, and Mourning, as when I abandoned my Flying Career after the Failure of Eastern Airlines, though not quite as bad as when I abandoned all hope that working for “Big Company” Corporate America (Global Crossing) would provide my “ticket” to some manner of Liberty from Financial Slavery… Thankfully, I am now, “reborn” into a new goal to unplug from the “Machine”, in every way that I can… I am committed to redesigning my life to become as self sufficient in: food production, energy production, water resources, and sources of (LIFE AFFIRMING) income generation, as possible. Therefore, I am mostly recovered from mourning over the death of my previous life and Ideals….
Additionally, I am considering leaving Northern Virginia altogether and seeking to re-establish myself in someplace with a higher density of Liberty minded individuals and in a State that still might have a bit of the old “Republics” ideal at heart… I am thinking of heading West… Oregon, Washington State, Idaho out where Don is, Montana… Maybe even Alaska, the other place that seems interesting in the East is Maine… I want to rent a small farm… Put up greenhouses. Grow, and sell, produce and maybe fish farm and sell as well; have some chickens for eggs and meat. Make Orgonite, Colloidal Silver, and anything else I can think of… I will still do some consulting, and write some software, but being increasingly selective about who, and for what, I am working…. That is what I want to do, and I have it in the “gun sights” of my mind, and therefore have recovered some enthusiasm and optimism to replace the sense of bitter defeat, hopelessness, and frustration that I had felt over the previous months…
So, getting down to it, the specifics of why I need a boost… as so often happens in life, these sort of transformation happen all at once…
Now my girlfriend, Christina, has tonight decided that our relationship is over, and has asked me to move out having decided that we are just too incompatible to continue, and that she is tired of waiting for me to divorce my Wife she and I having been separated now for almost 2.5 years. So, she is tossing me out… At a time when my finances are between non-existent to strained (at best) and after just barely recovering from one of the darkest periods of pain that I have ever experienced…
So, I could use a boost… I need to get myself out of her house as soon as I can… I need to get started with a new life and move forward… I am struggling and could use some help…
Thanks
–Azti/Chuck Tellechea
PS: In closing, the following from Rumi is the most inspiring thing I have heard in a long time…
—o—
Run from what’s comfortable.
Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious.
……I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I’ll be mad
—o—
–Rumi
